Grey Area.
It is a mistake to assume that
feelings are close at hand, familiar,
easily recognisable and categorised.
Feelings can come camouflaged, or
disguised as their opposites.
They may be out of earshot, even
when they are screaming.
The rare can be mistaken for the
commonplace,
the commonplace for the seldom
seen.
Feelings are difficult. Feelings
are elusive.
Often the close at hand is hardest
to see, never more so
than when it is all that is seen,
large enough to fill the entire field
of vision.
Similarly, a feeling may persist
for such a length of time
That it is mistaken for a condition
of existence.
Feelings are spectral. “Is this
love,
is this love, is this love
that I’m feeling?”
Or is it something else, or nothing
at all?
Sometimes feelings make us cry.
Sometimes, a feeling is so
voluptuous
we prolong it artificially,
fanning its embers,
crouched over
its
glowing
coal.
Or,
We try to strangle our feelings
before they grow too large to house,
and too difficult to control.
Or,
we disown them,
thinking them beneath
or above
us,
too
gauche
or,
too
high-
flown.
We cannot
Negotiate
with feelings.
They are stubborn
and push back
If pushed.
What we tell ourselves
of them
won’t change them.
They are more real then,
than we are.
We are made,
Not of blood and bone,
Muscle, gristle, fat and flesh
But of feelings,
Jostling and grousing
Surging, thrusting
And exploding
Into
Fulsome flower
And fading also,
Grey,
And fugitive,
wilting
Though
Never
Ever
Dying.
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