Life is a tapestry of disappointment. I was in Osaka, visiting the aquarium. That wasn’t so bad/ It was years ago now.
Coming Attractions- Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Sleep. It always goes that way.
Some meals we take in unfamiliar environments, with Formica tabletops and spring loaded napkin dispensers, greasy with finger-smears. Sometimes these are good meals, we burrow into our aloneness, tunnel a silence into background conversation and the pop music on the radio. There is a kind of cheap melancholy that feels really nice
“Oh I won't settle no, oh I can't settle
I wanna break the mold, I wanna break the stereotype
Fist in the air I'm not going down with out a fight
It's my life and I'm not sitting on the sidelines watching
It pass me by”
When the affirmation hits the inertia and doesn’t even bounce. I was a different person then, better perhaps, or at least, I had more time left, and correspondingly, more hope. It’s not that I’ve compromised exactly, just that I’ve stopped expecting anything to happen. But I do watch the sky and note the gradations of grey. Stratus Opacus. Sun locked out.
What I’m looking for, is a reason to carry on.

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